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It also reflects an expectation that sex will happen relatively early in a relationship: not so early that you're a slut, but still sooner than many people would be able to achieve emotional intimacy with someone.” It’s a very unfashionable thing to admit to these days - that you might not feel ready to perform the most intimate of physical acts with someone after spending less than a working day’s worth of time in their company.It feels embarrassing, like one’s inadvertently letting the feminist side down – surely it’s the duty of the modern, urbane woman about town to exercise her sexual liberation, hard-won by generations past, with wild, carefree abandon?Our romantic culture generally consisted of hanging out with mates down the pub, doing some drinking, and then sort of somehow ending up with one of them and not really discussing the matter until six months in.But with the ascent of online dating – which is reportedly now the way one in five relationships start – we have become a date-centric society, particularly in London where it seems that anyone who’s single is on Tinder.Otherwise, it's just another set of rules to control us.Rachel Hills' book, The Sex Myth, will be out in August 2015, published by Simon & Schuster in the US, and Penguin in Australia The Big Short, the film adaptation of Michael Lewis' book of the same name about the causes of the financial crisis, opens in UK cinemas this weekend.
“But there is an expectation that you need to be sexually active very early on in a relationship – that can be intimidating for those who want to take their time.” Let me be clear: this absolutely isn’t about slut shaming or having rules about what “nice young ladies” should or shouldn’t do.
We also seem to be increasingly taken in by dating propaganda from across the pond.
Modern day media has a lot to answer for, but one of the biggest impacts it’s had relates to what our idea of the sexual status quo looks like.
Studies have suggested that anything between 35 and 50 per cent of all couples in the UK, now meet via the web.
What’s more, a study by dating site e Harmony, estimated that seven in ten couples will have done so by 2040 – with 55 to 64-year-olds experiencing the biggest boom (an expected 30 per cent rise between 20).